she looked like the before picture.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
