Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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