HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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