What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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