I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
