i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
