he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
