i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
