Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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