Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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