just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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