he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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