***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
