ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
