I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize