it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
