love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Your penis caused this!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize