I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
