he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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