still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
