Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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