You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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