Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
