Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
