I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
