i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
