the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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