how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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