He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
