Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
