then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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