I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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