I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
