Porn is love you can see.
the condom got lost in my hair
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and she was petting her beer can
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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