Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Blood and glitter go together right?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
