yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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