I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
