I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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