haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
