Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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