fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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