chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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