I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize