i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
