You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
