What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
