how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
there is glitter all over my balls
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