i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
