sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
