Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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