and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
