The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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