You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
