she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
