I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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