I wanna bring you to show and tell
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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