Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
