is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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