doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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