I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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