so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
